Watch out! Behavior traits that push people away and how to change them

Watch out! Behavior traits that push people away and how to change them

Learning & Development

GlobalLinker Staff

GlobalLinker Staff

1 Sep 2019, 11:20 — 7 min read

The way you behave with others reflects on the kind of person you are. Good behaviour has the power to push you towards great success while bad behaviour can pull you down. And it is important therefore, to identify these damaging traits and take corrective measures to change them. But how do you know if you are knowingly or unknowingly displaying harmful behaviour towards others and towards yourself?

Here is a list of 10 behaviours that you should steer away from:

1. Comparison to others

One of the worst things you can do to harm yourself is constant comparison to others. For most of us, the grass always seems greener on the other side. But this practice of weighing your situation and worth with respect to others futile as it will only degrade your self-esteem further.  Material wealth can’t determine if a person is truly happy on the inside and hence you should practice gratefulness. Be thankful for all that you have been blessed with and only then can you achieve peace and contentment.

2. Negative self-talk

The way you speak to yourself can have a detrimental impact on your mental health. Cultivating negative thoughts can lead to negative actions which can impact you and the people around you. Believing that only bad things can happen to you and a limiting self-belief can lead you spiraling downward into a path of deleterious energy and expectations.

3. Taking things personally

From the moment you start assuming that everything that is happening around you is because of you or all about you, you start giving wings to a damaging behaviour that can be indeed harmful especially at workplace when you are working with a group of people, all having different mindsets. It is important to remember that people’s reaction to you comes from their personal experiences and feelings. It’s more about how they perceive a thing than their reaction towards you. But that on the other hand doesn’t mean that you should ignore all feedback and let things go. Instead, you should take constructive criticism on a positive note without getting demotivated or disheartened. 

Also read: How to achieve ‘flow state’ at work to enhance productivity & minimise delays

4. Cruelty towards yourself and others

Cruelty stems from a lack of empathy or compassion towards others. Many people who have the power and authority to rule over others exhibit this trait that makes them cruel and heartless. It is also very easy to be spiteful to someone when you are under stress, but it is imperative to understand that this behaviour in the long run not only spoils your relationship with others but also makes you a negative person on the inside. 

5. Trying to please people

It is humanely impossible to please everyone on earth. And this very people pleasing behaviour can land you in a thick soup. You become people pleasing out of your own insecurity or to avoid conflicts. But keeping other’s opinions ahead of yours and putting their needs above yours will do you no good; people start taking advantage of you and you are reduced to feeling resentful and hopeless in the long run.

For most of us, the grass always seems greener on the other side. But this practice of weighing your situation and worth with respect to others is a futile one as it will only degrade your self-esteem further. 

6. Playing the victim game

Playing the blame game or victimizing oneself all the time can drive people away from you and if you are doing that, you need to stop immediately! Stop pointing fingers at others. It is understandable if you have suffered a trauma in the past or have gone through a situation that has disturbed your mental peace, but constantly blaming others will do you no good. The moment you stop pitying yourself and see beyond hurts and disappointments, you can see how strong an individual you really are. 

7. Holding on to the past

This stems from the point above. Everyone has a past and for many it might not have been a pleasant one. But holding on to the dead corpses can make you irritable and unhappy and this is a toxic behaviour that can ruin your happiness and drive people away from you. The past can’t be changed and it is wise to look at the road ahead and enjoy the present rather than dwelling in the times gone by.

Also read: Harness the power of mindfulness to eliminate stress at work

8. Being envious of others

Being jealous or envious is a negative behaviour that comes from being insecure about yourself. You are under a constant threat of people sabotaging your position or your happiness and you don’t want others to have what you possess. This behaviour can push people away from you. Rather than being jealous, count your blessings. You are not here to win a race. The only person you should be competing with is yourself.

9. Constant validation

The crazy obsession to get everything right and to achieve success no matter what can be exhausting and this can make you toxic to be around.  There is no need trying to prove your worth every time and seek constant approval of others. Look at the bigger picture and learn to let things go. This will make ample room for positive thoughts and happiness.

10. Reaction to very little thing

People who react to everything have difficulty managing their emotions. And these kinds of people are extremely uncomfortable to be around. As humans we must learn how to keep our emotions in check and losing it every time something goes off or unnecessarily creating a ruckus will make you unwelcome company. Try seeking assistance to manage your anger better and shed off your emotional vulnerability. 

Understanding your behaviour towards yourself and others and taking the right measures to correct them can make you a better person that people love to be around with. So, are you displaying any of the above mentioned behaviours? If yes, now is the time to shed these damaging traits.

Also read: Productivity in the age of information overload

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